Megan CurtinMost Sold At A Quick Glance
Tis the season to dust of those Christmas outfits and head out to your 50th Christmas party of the season. Ditch the fancy sequins and opt for a conversation starter this year!
What better way to say Merry Christmas than with an offensive and slightly inappropriate Christmas sweater. Don’t worry about Mrs. Judgey pants giving you the stink eye, after a few boozy eggnog drinks she’ll be googling a picture of your sweater and clicking on that two-day ship button!
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Send Nudes Punny Christmas SweaterÂ
Want to pick someone up at that Christmas party you are going too? Well, then you’re in luck. Nothing gets attention more than honesty, and with this sweater, that hottie across the bar will know exactly what you’re after. Nudes! We have all sent one or at least asked for one once in our life.
Get on Santa’s naughty list this year with this offensive Christmas sweater.Â
Available in sizes:
- XS
- S
- M
- L
- XL
- XXL
The material is thick enough to wear without a jacket! Less to take off before Santa cums down the chimney.
Reindeer and Snowman Inappropriate Christmas SweaterÂ
Frosty is about to be introduced to that DBJ not to be confused with a PB&J!
You can maybe get away with this one at family events or the office. There are no naughty words on this offensive Christmas sweater and kids might not fully understand dick jokes yet.
While it may be offensive this Christmas sweater is made out of great polyester material and is sure to last year for all future Christmas’s to come. So many years, so many people to offend around the holidays!
Inappropriate Christmas Sweater – Santa EdtionÂ
When Santa drinks to much milk he has to piss where he can. You know the feeling after drinking too much Miller Lite or Vodka Soda.
In case you accidentally piss on this Christmas sweater no worries, it is machine washable. Made out of Acrylic this sweater is 100% non-itchy.
Available in sizes:
- S
- M
- L
- XL
- XXL
Happy Birthday Jesus  Christmas SweaterÂ
Offensive Christmas sweater to some but is it wrong? Christmas is the day Jesus was born, so yeah it is his birthday.
This Christmas sweater is made specifically for women so the neckline will be flattering on all women, no matter what your height or body type is!
Available in sizes:
- S
- M
- L
- XL
- XXL
Oh Snap – Gingerbread Man Christmas Sweater – Christmas HoodieÂ
This picture is of a t-shirt but if you click the link to purchase you can see the glory that is the gingerbread hoodie.Â
Available in the hoodie colors of:
- Black
- Blue
- Navy
- Grey
- White
Obama Miss Me Yet Christmas SweaterÂ
Really no need to even explain this one. I’m just going to leave this right here and let you think about it for a little bit.
Need to know info: Back of this ugly offensive Christmas sweater is plain.
Available in sizes:
- S
- M
- L
- XL
- XXL
Has a wider neck that shows off those collar bones, which is about the most skin you’re going to show at an ugly Christmas sweater party.
Mom and Santa Dirty Christmas SweaterÂ
Out of all the offensive Christmas sweaters I feel like this one is the tamest. You could maybe get away with wearing this one while your out and about depending on what type of town you live in.
A great perk to wearing this sweater, you can tell all the mom jokes you want. Mom jokes will only aid in the irony of your outfit.
Style tip: Have a lady friend smooch some red lipstick on your check or neck.
Available in:
- S
- M
- L
- XL
- XXL
Santa Claus In A Thong Christmas SweaterÂ
Just like your ex, this classy Santa Claus has a black thong and a tramp stamp.
This one is more of an offensive Christmas crew sweater than a knit sweater! Great for those who want a little extra drinking room to expand that belly of yours.
Color options include:
- Black
- Navy
- Dark Heather
- Heather Grey
This one is sized unisex and is available in S-2X! Unisex sizes typically run a half size bigger than normal sizes, in case you live under a rock.
Jesus and Santa Buddies Christmas Sweater
It’s always fun when two friends have the same birthday! One day, two times the excuse to get more fucked up! As if most of our generation needs any more excuse to drink.
This bad boy is 100% Acrylic which means it won’t shrink or itch.
A female version of this is available here with this link! Click it, it’s not click bate it’s just a version you can get your lady friend so you two can match and be that annoyingly cute couple. If you haven’t ever dressed the same as your partner I suggest trying it out. Great way to find each other a the end of the night. “Hey, have you seen someone who is dressed exactly like me? We have an uber to catch so we can go home and toss some milk in cookies.” HO HO HO you HOrny HOrny Horny little nuggets.
Jolly As FuckÂ
This Christmas sweater is unisex!
Available in:
- black
- green
- red
- grey
- white
Pair this inappropriate Christmas sweater with some red pants and you’re good to go!
Gingerbread Nightmare SweaterÂ
You don’t want Santa to pick you if you’re a gingerbread man. He is picking you out to eat you and not in the way anyone wants to be eaten.
This offensive Christmas sweater is available in women’s and men’s fit!Â
Available in the following sizes:
- Small
- Medium
- Large
- XL
- XXL
Donald Trump Christmas SweaterÂ
The snowman literally has a carrot for his penis. Not many times are you going to be able to wear something out in public where a snowman has a carrot for his penis, but it seems to fit quite well with the Donald Trump theme going on here.
As if the carrot penis didn’t sell you enough, this sweater also has the Trump signature hair.
Available in the following sweater colors:
- Green
- Red
- Black
- Navy
- Gray
This Donald Trump Christmas sweater is half cotton and half polyester, which means it won’t shrink too much and it is sure to make your Christmas great again!
Deer Christmas Sweater
Yeah, those are deer humping. It’s actually educational, a great way to teach your kids how Rudolf was made.
For those of you who prefer hoodies to crew sweaters, this one is for you.
Available in:
- Black
- Red
- Gray
- Pink
- Purple
- Orange
- Blue
- White
Bonus to this sweater- Great way to piss off the ex at your kids Christmas pageant this year. You’re welcome.
Griswold Christmas Vacation SweaterÂ
It’s the four words every person loves hearing around Christmas, Merry Christmas Shitter’s Full.
If you don’t get this epic Christmas sweater slogan you have probably been doing Christmas wrong. Get off your computer and go watch the movie Christmas Vacation.
Available in:
- Black
- Gray
- Red
- Pink
- Purple
- Blue
Funny Christmas sweater is complete with the classic Christmas font and “knitted” pictures that fit along with the Christmas vacation movie theme.
Nutcracker Christmas Sweater
Put your nuts in my mouth Christmas sweater can be worn to your office Christmas party or to the classic showing of the nutcracker.
If you want an offensive Christmas sweater without a swear word on it, this would be a great option for you.
For the ladies out there, this would be cute to pair with a red skirt and green tights!Â
Women’s Offensive Christmas SweaterÂ
One of the few Christmas sweaters that can be somewhat sexy while still being funny.
This Christmas sweater sits off the shoulder and is made out of comfy cotton. It’s going to be thinner which is great if you get hot easily while you drink or in crowded spaces. You want to wear an ugly Christmas sweater not be sweating the whole night like your a god damn waterfall.
If you want this sweater to be really far off your shoulder I suggest ordering a size larger. If you are nervous the fit will be too big around your middle section if you go up a size then order your normal size and just cut the neckline to be a little wider.
Merry As Fuck Christmas SweaterÂ
Merry AF! Simple, straight forward, to the point and offensive.
Realistically one of the tamer offensive Christmas sweaters. You might even be able to get away with this one on casual Friday if you work at a bomb AF workplace.
The material on this one is actually a bit thicker, so it’s great for those who live in the north pole aka Wisconsin.
Megan Curtin
